I’m at a loss.

Something floats through my mind.
I try to grab hold.
And, off it goes.

I’ve waited for days.
Hoping it’d pass.
Yet each day ends up
Proving to be like the last.

I write, read, discard.
Only to write, read, discard again.

I could force myself
To finish something.

I could force the words.

Unfortunately…
Because I have a surplus of it –
And I know…

Willpower won’t take me
Where I want to go.

I’m searching for an ease & fluidity
That evades me.

One that’s never accomplished
Through force.

To find it,
I need to stop trying
To shove myself in a direction.
I need to learn to follow
A more organically flowing path.

The tricky part…
A distinction must be made.

Am I resistant out of fear?
Out of laziness?
Out of habit or routine?

Or…
Is something within me
Telling me this is not
The right direction for me?

As I write this now
I realize a truth
I never acknowledged before –

No matter what the answer,
What causes the resistance,

Force is never
The best way to go.

 

 

 

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christie
Introvert. Avid reader. Social media shy. Animal lover. Yoga student. Green juice drinker. Whole Foods shopper. Tango dancer...

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