Every two hours I woke. For the last time at 5am.
I felt like I’d run a marathon. I barely survived.
As happens often (more so than I’d like), I feel an internal quivering. As if my cells themselves are agitated, scared & trying to hide.
I’ve worked for years to calm my mind. To understand & acknowledge I am safe. Even if it doesn’t feel like it sometimes.
I dream of more sleep. A dream to be denied. So, instead I lie in bed, breathing (inhale 4, hold 4, exhale 4, hold 4, repeat) until the sensation quiets. (It never fully leaves.)
I enjoy waking early. Getting a head start on my day. Today I dread it. Not sure why. (Probably poor,inadequate sleep.)
Resistant & slightly irritable, up I go. Carefully traversing the stairs to the world down below.