I took some much needed time off to deal with emotions related to my father’s death. He died a year ago Friday of last week.

As the day approached, I found myself falling into a deeper sadness. One I could not breach.

As much as my hope is to chronicle all my feelings (good & bad), the thought of writing about how I felt was depressing.

I still feel off. I still feel sad. Soon, however, I hope to return more to myself.

The last week or two have felt like years. My grasp on time slipped. I tumbled into a darkness that left me both vulnerable and void.

I got very little done.

Last week’s highlights, I…
– Sharpened all my pencils (a monumental feat for the day)
– Bought containers to organize (to distract myself on a particularly bad day)
– Spent about 12 hours looking for a piece of paper I should have found in 3 minutes time
– Went to get blood drawn for lab work (Everything is fine.)
– Started organizing paperwork. Then… Stopped.
– Barely ate
– Wanted to cry at least once a day

I did a million other things, mostly small. Each forgotten as soon as I moved on.

I hope this week finds me coming more fully out of my funk. Because it’s heavy. Uncomfortable.

And, practically speaking… I have things that I need to do.

Still… I vowed to be gentle & kind with myself, no matter what does (or doesn’t) come. Knowing that everything will be okay. No matter today or tomorrow how much (or how little) gets done.




christie on Facebookchristie on Twitter

Introvert. Avid reader. Social media shy. Animal lover. Yoga student. Green juice drinker. Whole Foods shopper. Tango dancer…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.