Everyone has their own unique problems & obstacles.

When it comes to daily living,
Which I use to refer to
The more mundane, repetitive actions in life…

I experience an either/or.

I can either do creative work.
Or, keep the house organized & clean.

I can clean & organize.
But I can’t also get my creative work done.

For the record I’d like to note:

This doesn’t mean it’s impossible.
I simply have yet to figure out how.

Until I do,
I’m forced to choose.

My environment then reflects that choice.

This takes me to two primary components
In any positive change I’m able to make.

I need to create habits that support me.

I need to simplify my systems,
Simplify my to do list…

To make everything easier for me.

I know everyone struggles to get everything done.
It’s actually impossible to.

The key, therefore, is prioritization.

You have to decide what’s most important to you.

Would I rather do something that fulfills me?
That’s a true expression of myself?

Or…
Would I rather spend my time
Putting things back in their place?

Right now, the answer is clear.

I, at least, have no internal debate.

My mess may feel out of control.
In truth, it’s a controlled, limited mess.

One that, if I chose to,
I could clean up fairly quickly.

It’s not the mess
(Okay. It kind of is.)
That weighs so much on me.

It’s the self judgement it creates.

Inside my head, I’m saying…

“What’s wrong with you?”
Why can’t you just put your stuff up?”

“This is unacceptable!”

“What would other people think?!”

In essence,
I am making things worse for myself,

Which creates a cycle.

It exhausts me.

Then, since I have little (or less) energy,
It naturally decreases the chances
I’ll organize or clean.

I’d like to stop it all.

Stop the voices in my head.
Stop the clutter.

I’d like to have the energy and desire to clean –
Not do it because I feel it’s forced on me.

How I do that…
I have no idea.

That’s part of what’ll be explore in the months to come.

Until I find an answer,
I need to find a way to relax.

Stressing, obsessing & worrying
Don’t help a bit.

In fact,
If I were to start a “Stop Doing” list,

They’d be the first things I quit.

 
Quitting smoking – male hand crushing cigarette

christie
Learning obsessed. Growth focused. Wisdom seeking. Recovering perfectionist. In eternal struggle to tame obsessive compulsive tendencies.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.