If you were to ask me
What I considered my primary issue in daily life,

I’d say, “Time.”

I won’t say, “I don’t have enough.”

I have as much as everyone else.

It’s more that I’m stuck in a loop
Leaving me quickly feeling like
I’m back in the same place again.

I know it’s primarily in my mind.
That doesn’t make it feel any less real.

It’s the one thing I try to conquer.

But progress eludes me.

I only find myself back in the same place.

And, so it goes…
Day after day.

Take the house.

Right now, it’s an absolute mess.

But less than 48 hours ago,
Things were under control
And tucked neatly in their place.

How do things go so quickly
From order to chaos?

How do we keep control?

Because it feels like the moment we turn away,
Every ounce of order goes.

There are organizational basics.
Lessons tried & true.

Things I don’t find useful
Because even when I do them
I still struggle not to come unglued.

For example…

Get rid of things.

I am.
I have.
I do.

I have empty closets.
Empty shelves.
Empty drawers.

Still unless I mindlessly cram stuff places,
I still end up with the feeling of a hoard.

Have a place for everything.

This one I’m working on.
But for most things I do.

Even with a designated home,
Things still get & remain out of place.

My question…

How is that the case?

This year is about problem solving
In an attempt to reduce stress.

If there were some magical answer,
I’d already have it.

So, as I look around,
I try not to panic.

I tell myself to relax.

I’m going to get my day to day affairs under control,
Even if I haven’t yet.

Stressing doesn’t help.
I’ve already tried that.

I need to relax.
Tell myself, “It’s going to be ok.”

Just because I have a mess today
Doesn’t mean that tomorrow will be lost.

Each day offers a new chance
To pull myself together.

Each day is a restart.

 
christie
Learning obsessed. Growth focused. Wisdom seeking. Recovering perfectionist. In eternal struggle to tame obsessive compulsive tendencies.

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