A Year Of Change

Slippery Time

Time continues to get away from me. Unable to slow it down, it leaks. It pours. The slipperiness of it's nature making it impossible to hold on. Since Sunday, each day has brought me something more unexpecte...

Deciding How To Use My Time

I wake, my cells exhausted to the bone. My body frozen in space. I turn my head slightly glancing out the windows that create one wall of the room. Dark. Rainy. No motivation found to move. I spent the weeke...

Strange Things

I get ready for bed earlier & earlier every day. I don't go to bed. I just prepare. I finish up my "daytime activities." Do my "nighttime prep"... Then, wait until it's time to go to bed. At first, it...

A New Experiment

I haven't written in days. (Days that feel like weeks.) I haven't felt well. Literally, on a day to day basis due to: 1. A migraine headache 2. Severe allergic reaction to an insect bite 3. My monthly al...

In Search Of Meaning

Before I get out of bed, I follow my normal routine. I close my eyes. And, slip quickly back into my dreams. Sometimes I fall firmly back into place. Other times (like today) I get bits & pieces of my...

Fitful Night Sleep

Every two hours I woke. For the last time at 5am. I felt like I'd run a marathon. I barely survived. As happens often (more so than I'd like), I feel an internal quivering. As if my cells themselves are a...

Tucked Away

Days I struggle with deeply engrained emotional or mental habits, patterns or routines - all from which I want to be free. Today... I struggle with a bag. Inconspicuous. Neatly tucked away. It sits t...

A Long Way To Go

(10:43am) I sit on the floor staring at the coffee table. A mountain of old checkbooks stare back. For months, these very same checkbooks have been tucked neatly away on a shelf. Every day I'd see them. ...

A Purposeful Pause

This year was going to be year of transformational, big change. A year to really remember. To savior. A year that changed all that follows. Quickly nearing halfway through the year, I feel I've already faile...

A Purposeful Slow Start

I want to throw myself wholeheartedly into everything I do. I don't always. Sometimes (as much as I want to) I can't figure out how. When I do, I know I'm either on the road to high levels of productivity, f...