Journal

Cleaning Up

I wake this morning feeling fine. Within minutes of getting up, a growing anxiety & overwhelm build in my body. Consuming my mind. I look around at all I have to do. All that has been left undone. Lists ...

One Moment At A Time

24 hours after my last post, I became ill. Fatigue hit. Aches. My skin tender to the touch. Chills. In bed (or, more accurately... on the floor) with a high fever, I stayed. For days. Falling in & out of ...

Waiting For Things To Settle

I've been away. Not physically. Mentally. I'm in an unexpected flux. Destabilized. Floating. Unsure where I will land. Whether I'll continue to go up. Or... Tumble back down. With nothing else to do, ...

Dealing With Consequences

I live a life dependent on schedules & daily maintenance. When on schedule & adequate maintenance performed (at appropriate times), life runs like a well oiled machine. Things are good. Things are under...

Rocky Days

My Mother's in town. (If I were wise, I'd end it here. Period.) She came into town to "help me." And, as always... I somehow end up feeling worse for wear. I'm away from home for the next two days ...

Opening Up To Life

The weekend proved long. (And, as exhausting as I expected.) The idea behind the two intensive days... To create a long term vision. A 20 year plan. Something years ago I would have jumped at the chance to...

Painting Life

I feel antsy. Unsettled. Something within propels me to move. While whispers tickle me, telling me to stay still. I need stillness today. A calm before a weekend storm. I have two more days of workshops. More ...

Returning Home

I took some much needed time off to deal with emotions related to my father's death. He died a year ago Friday of last week. As the day approached, I found myself falling into a deeper sadness. One I could n...

An Empty Mind

My brain has gone dark. It began days ago. Only now do I feel it's full effect. Thoughts don't come. I can't hold even the simplest thing in my head. I walk around with no intention, direction or purpose...

A Twisted Mind

There are things about myself I simply don't understand. For example... The more productive I try to be, the less productive I am. If, on the other hand, I choose to be unproductive on any given day... I ...