Journal

Lost In Thought

I've been thinking about writing. Just thinking that is. Each morning determined. By noon, determination fades. By evening, it's completely gone away. I console myself with, "Tomorrow is the day..."...

Crumbling To Pieces

Time slips away from me - as it too often does. I was reminded yesterday that I haven't posted in almost one month! I can list reasons, excuses... Many valid & strong. In the end, I've been caught up in a...

A Great Divide

I have a love/hate relationship with change. On one hand... Every part of me craves it. I search for it like a drowning man for water. Because I know without it, no growth or progress takes place, Which l...

Time Away

My computer tucked away for months at end... I pull it out only to find dust covering it's lid. The spring months flew. Now, summer almost gone. I've been living in this otherworldly dimension where times mo...

Cleaning Up

I wake this morning feeling fine. Within minutes of getting up, a growing anxiety & overwhelm build in my body. Consuming my mind. I look around at all I have to do. All that has been left undone. Lists ...

One Moment At A Time

24 hours after my last post, I became ill. Fatigue hit. Aches. My skin tender to the touch. Chills. In bed (or, more accurately... on the floor) with a high fever, I stayed. For days. Falling in & out of ...

Waiting For Things To Settle

I've been away. Not physically. Mentally. I'm in an unexpected flux. Destabilized. Floating. Unsure where I will land. Whether I'll continue to go up. Or... Tumble back down. With nothing else to do, ...

Dealing With Consequences

I live a life dependent on schedules & daily maintenance. When on schedule & adequate maintenance performed (at appropriate times), life runs like a well oiled machine. Things are good. Things are under...

Rocky Days

My Mother's in town. (If I were wise, I'd end it here. Period.) She came into town to "help me." And, as always... I somehow end up feeling worse for wear. I'm away from home for the next two days ...

Opening Up To Life

The weekend proved long. (And, as exhausting as I expected.) The idea behind the two intensive days... To create a long term vision. A 20 year plan. Something years ago I would have jumped at the chance to...