Journal

Painting Life

I feel antsy. Unsettled. Something within propels me to move. While whispers tickle me, telling me to stay still. I need stillness today. A calm before a weekend storm. I have two more days of workshops. More ...

Returning Home

I took some much needed time off to deal with emotions related to my father's death. He died a year ago Friday of last week. As the day approached, I found myself falling into a deeper sadness. One I could n...

An Empty Mind

My brain has gone dark. It began days ago. Only now do I feel it's full effect. Thoughts don't come. I can't hold even the simplest thing in my head. I walk around with no intention, direction or purpose...

A Twisted Mind

There are things about myself I simply don't understand. For example... The more productive I try to be, the less productive I am. If, on the other hand, I choose to be unproductive on any given day... I ...

Making It Through Another Day

I wake early Sunday morning engulfed by darkness, completely exhausted. A different type of fatigue than my day to day norm. One which runs down to my bones. It radiates out from my core. I lie still, willin...

Detour Ahead

I've written a record number of posts today. Seven (not counting this one.) All complete. All thrown away. Something's going on with me. I'm just not exactly sure what. If I were to guess... I'd think it'...

An Unspoken Dream

Further into my past my dreams take me. To places long thought lost or dead. Each night I close my eyes, I never know where in the morning I'll land. Some dreams send me clear messages. In others, any...

The Ties That Bind

I've been scared I was falling back into a trap from which I'd finally been freed. I tied myself in knots. Beating myself up. Thinking I was weak. That my actions proved I'd learned nothing. Until I realized...

A Well Worn Path

Backward I fall. Instead of forward I go. In the past 7 days, I've spent 2/3 of my time sleeping. The other 1/3 watching myself from far away slip into an uncomfortable, comfortable place. One from which I a...

A Temporary Reprieve

I expect to be offline until Monday. This weekend I begin an NLP Practitioner Course. All day Saturday & Sunday. (Several weekends a month.) As optimistic as I'd like to be about sustaining my energy lev...